Miraculous Weight Loss Technique

Tonight I discovered a miraculous weight loss therapy. I might even have to file a patent on it.

As part of my training (!) for the Edinburgh 10k I went for a run round the meadows twice tonight. I didn't go out twice, I actually ran round it twice at the same time. Not that I was two people.

Anyway.

During said run(s) I decided to run on the grass for a while (ala cross-country) to get a bit of extra workout. I spotted, at the last minute, a huge mud and puddle combination and checked my footwork, only to come a cropper. Where does that saying come from? Was Cropper some Victorian who kept on falling over or coming in to (or into even) dillemas of his own making? So, I slipped and ended up on my arse in mud (sorry mum).

When I got back I obviously needed a shower. I might have had one anyway, but given I was covered in mud it seemed more appropriate. I had mud on my face apparently, which must have made all the women waiting for their pilates class, as I picked up my son from his fencing class, giggle a little. Not stolen goods or garden work, but proper fencing. With swords.

Before said shower I decided to weigh myself. I came in at a kind 11 stone. I then had a shower and thought "maybe i'll weigh myself again in a mo to see if showering has changed my weight". Of course, that was a stupid thought. But lo and behold when I weighed myself again I was 10 stone 13 pound. That's something-or-other kilos in real money.

Where did that 1 pound go? Down the plug-hole? Was it mud and shed skin? Or invisible weight that we accumulate throughout our lives on our bodies? Sweat and ions, perhaps?

Anyway, showering. Try it. I suspect if I had a bath the same thing wouldn't happen. I actually believe I might have put on weight if I had a bath. I haven't had a bath for 20 years. Thank god. (or whoever your deighty might be). I might be a fat bastard if I had bathed every week. If you're a fat bastard then maybe you'll think twice about bathing again.