Press the 6 button longly

Isn't technology brilliant?

Sat in the car, outside my son's fencing lesson tonight listening to the footy, i failed to notice that i'd left lights on. Five mins before he came out I tried the engine only to realise the battery was dead. I had to ring the AA but didn't know where I was. But my phone has GPS so I could fire up googlemaps which pinpointed my position within some small circle of x metres. Anyway, it meant I could give my exact location to the AA woman.

Then, whilst waiting, and enjoying some quality time with my eldest, i suddenly received a text telling me yon AA man was being despatched and would be with me in 15 mins. Cool as fuck.

On the way home we noticed that the radio wanted a code. We quickly found the car manual which had said code and we stopped and worked out how to type it in using the 1-6 numbers usually used to change channels. Only we couldn't find an enter button. I consulted said manual, which it seems has been 'translated' from French. Not Japanese. "press the 6 button longly" came the instruction.

Now, I could clearly understand the French instruction, but the English translation was, if I can be allowed to say this, merde. Press the 6 button longly, I did. Voila!

We all live in a Yellow Duckmarine

We all went back to Liverpool for the weekend. It's about 15 years since I'd seen the City Centre, so what better way to solve that and keep the kids entertained. I'd rang up and booked tickets for this in advance and then took the family to the Albert Dock for a quick look see, then climbed aboard this baby. Apparently, they are actually old Marines landing craft, with a few mods.

Our driver/captain and his co-pilot pulled off a fantastic hour of fun. Every inch was packed with some wit, including a perfectly timed pun at the Victoria monument "you'll see why we call her King Victoria". You either have to be a local, or on this tour to understand. We also got to see 80% of the local city centre sights. 30 mins round town and then 30 mins in the docks.

Don't miss it.

Worms

Imagine my surprise this week. I've had kids for ten years now, so I sort of think nothing can phase me. I've seen and had to deal with many a childhood thing.

But on Wednesday my youngest was complaining of a sore bum. That's not unusual. They can't really wipe their own bums very well, and often complain of itchiness.

However, on Wednesday night i was suddenly confronted with something I'd never seen before. A couple of nights running my youngest went absolutely mad at about 7pm. He started shuffling around the room like a mad dog. His arse on the floor etc.

I placated him with the usual platitudes and said I'd get some cream. He'd obviously not wiped his bum. But then I looked, and jesus H christ, a wee worm popped it's head out of his anus!!! I almost fainted. It was the most ugliest thing i've ever seen. Imagine seeing a wee maggot suddenly appear from your most dearests bum and then try to go back in. Luckily I had a wet wipe and caught the wee bugger. I then spent the night catching the wee fuckers. 15 I caught that night.

The Doc then gave us all a tablet each. Every family member has to have one. We've all had them. He still had the wee fuckers appearing until yesterday, but today he's been ok. Apparently, they are dead now. Bastards.

SAS Running

I'm out running again on Wednesday. I did 5k around The Meadows last Wed night with my birthday present on my head. It's a spot light thing that you attach to your head with what looks a bit like a jockstrap.

Of course, you don't actually need this kind of thing for the middle of a major european city. However, I wanted to see if the weight affected my performance. I'm glad to announce that it didn't. Although it was a little uncomfortable. I got bored after the first lap; people kept on looking at me and obviously thinking "why's he got that on, it's not even switched on".

So I decided the best way to tackle that was to slip the light down a little over my right eye. It then looked like I had night-vision. Much better look, I thought.